18 Jan . 8 Min Read . 1193
I arrived
early to lead my meditation class in a low-security prison. A crim who I had
never seen before was waiting to speak with me. He was a giant of a man with
bushy hair and beard and tattooed arms; the scars on his face told me he'd been
in many a violent fight. He looked so fearsome that I wondered why he was
coming to learn meditation. He wasn't the type. I was wrong of course.
He told me
that something had happened a few days before that had spooked the hell out of
him. As he started speaking, I picked up his thick Ulster accent. To give me
some background, he told me that he had grown up in the violent streets of
Belfast. His first stabbing was when he was seven years old. The school bully
had demanded the money he had for lunch. He said no. The older boy took out a
long knife and asked for the money a second time. He thought the bully was
bluffing. He said no again. The bully never asked a third time, he just plunged
the knife into the seven-year-old’s arm, drew it out and walked away.
He told me
that he ran in shock from the schoolyard, with blood streaming down his arm, to
his father's house close by. His unemployed father took one look at the wound
and led his son to their kitchen, but not to dress the wound. The father opened
a drawer, took out a big kitchen knife, gave it to his son, and ordered him to
go back to school and stab the boy back.
That was how
he had been brought up. If he hadn't grown so big and strong, he would have
been long dead.
The jail was
a prison farm where short-term prisoners, or long-term prisoners close to
release, could be prepared for life outside, some by learning a trade in the
farming industry. Furthermore, the produce from the prison farm would supply
all the prisons around Perth with inexpensive food, thus keeping down costs.
Australian farms grow cows, sheep and pigs, not just wheat and vegetables; so
did the prison farm. But unlike other farms, the prison farm had its own
slaughterhouse, on-site.
Every
prisoner had to have a job in the prison farm. I was informed by many of the
inmates that the most sought-after jobs were in the slaughterhouse. These jobs
were especially popular with violent offenders. And the most sought-after job
of all, which you had to fight for, was the job of the slaughterer himself.
That giant and fearsome Irishman was the slaughterer.
He described
the slaughterhouse to me. Super-strong stainless-steel railings, wide at the
opening, narrowed down to a single channel inside the building, just wide
enough for one animal to pass through at a time. Next to the narrow channel,
raised on a platform, he would stand with the electric gun. Cows, pigs or sheep
would be forced into the stainless-steel funnel using dogs and cattle prods. He
said they would always scream, each in its own way, and try to escape. They
could smell death, hear death and feel death. When an animal was alongside his
platform, it would be writhing and wriggling and moaning in full voice. Even
though his gun could kill a large bull with a single high-voltage charge, the
animal would never stand still long enough for him to aim properly. So it was
one shot to stun, next shot to kill. One shot to stun, next shot to kill.
Animal after animal. Day after day.
The Irishmen
started to become excited as he moved to the occurrence, only a few days
before, that he had unsettled him so much. He started to swear. In what
followed, he kept repeating, " This is God's f***ing truth!" He was
afraid I wouldn't believe him.
That day
they needed beef for the prisons around Perth. They were slaughtering cows. One
shot to stun, next shot to kill. He was well into a normal day's killing when a
cow came up like he had never seen before. This cow was silent. There wasn't
even a whimper. Its head was down as it walked purposely voluntarily, slowly
into position next to the platform. It did not writhe or wriggle or try to
escape.
Once in
position, the cow lifted her head and stared at her executioner, absolutely
still.
The Irishmen
hadn't seen anything even close to this before. His mind went numb with
confusion. He couldn't lift his gun; nor could he take his eyes away from the
eyes of the cow. The cow was looking right inside him.
He slipped
into timeless spaces. He couldn't tell me how long it took, but as the cow held
him in eye contact, he noticed something that shook him even more. Cows have
very big eyes. He saw in the left eye of the cow, above the lower eyelid, water
begin to gather. The amount of water grew and grew, until it was too much for
the eyelid to hold. It began to trickle slowly all the way down her cheek,
forming a glistening line of tears. Long-closed doors were opening slowly to
his heart. As he looked in disbelief, he saw in the right eye of the cow, above
the lower eyelid, more water gathering, growing by the moment, until it too,
was more than the eyelid could contain. A second stream of water trickled
slowly down her face. And the man broke down.
The cow was
crying.
He told me
that he threw down his gun, swore to the full extent of his considerable
capacity to the prison officers, that they could do whatever they liked to him,
" BUT THAT COW AIN'T DYING! "
He ended by
telling me he was a vegetarian now.
That story
was true. Other inmates of the prison farm confirmed it for me. The cow that
cried taught one of the most violent of men what it means to care.