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Yes, I grew up with a complicated relationship with Rejection
And when I say pain is real, believe me
I had to learn the hard way that “rejection” is “redirection”.
Only when I was ready for a real transformation, God sent me a “no matter
what” friend, who has been through a lot in life, and who only had the wisdom
to share.
I was discussing with him one day my deep frustration about a rejection that
has triggered my anger, and he said:
“Go solve your ego problems first, you have lots of self-work to do.
You might be the most beautiful woman on Earth and still be rejected by
normal guys.
You might be really successful in your career and still be rejected in the
next job you apply for.
You might be the most kind and friendly person on Earth and still be rejected
by many friends.”
And this has hit me big time!
Signs to be aware of:
1. We blame it on family,
friends, boss, bad luck, universe, anything but self,
2. We tend to play the victim
role/attention seeker,
3. Spontaneous angry reactions,
4. We use diminishing dialogue with
the person rejecting us,
5. We’ll probably be thinking
problem not solution,
6. Physical Pain: Knees, stomach,
migraines, ears.
Main Reasons could be:
1. Unmet Needs from childhood like
validation, attention, self-worth,
2. Being raised in a strict
environment where saying no is a “taboo”,
3. Being traumatized: could be
emotional, mental or physical abuse and most likely it’ll be a suppressed
memory,
4. Confusing self-love with thinking
that you are better than everyone else
Healing Process:
1. There is no one defined path
to follow; however, being able to identify the root cause, not the symptoms,
is halfway through the healing journey,
2. Exploring our unmet needs since
we were babies – might be through opening up our hearts to our mom/dad if
they are still alive,
3. Identifying our past traumas can
be a shortcut,4. Being aware that
the ego is very loud in these scenarios: self-doubt, self-hatred, anxiety,
narcissism, fear of others, harshness, impatience, lack of compassion,
illusions.
These are powerful moments where you need to jump in to do the real work and
reclaim your power back from Ego.
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Mirdad
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