The Ego Game

Olfat Beaini

18 Jan . 3 Min Read .  889

Photo by Iulia Mihailov on Unsplash


Yes, I grew up with a complicated relationship with Rejection

And when I say pain is real, believe me
I had to learn the hard way that “rejection” is “redirection”.
Only when I was ready for a real transformation, God sent me a “no matter what” friend, who has been through a lot in life, and who only had the wisdom to share.
I was discussing with him one day my deep frustration about a rejection that has triggered my anger, and he said:
“Go solve your ego problems first, you have lots of self-work to do.
You might be the most beautiful woman on Earth and still be rejected by normal guys.
You might be really successful in your career and still be rejected in the next job you apply for.
You might be the most kind and friendly person on Earth and still be rejected by many friends.”
And this has hit me big time!
Signs to be aware of:
1.       We blame it on family, friends, boss, bad luck, universe, anything but self,
2.       We tend to play the victim role/attention seeker,
3.       Spontaneous angry reactions,
4.       We use diminishing dialogue with the person rejecting us,
5.       We’ll probably be thinking problem not solution,
6.       Physical Pain: Knees, stomach, migraines, ears.
Main Reasons could be:
1.       Unmet Needs from childhood like validation, attention, self-worth,
2.       Being raised in a strict environment where saying no is a “taboo”,
3.       Being traumatized: could be emotional, mental or physical abuse and most likely it’ll be a suppressed memory,
4.       Confusing self-love with thinking that you are better than everyone else
Healing Process:
1.       There is no one defined path to follow; however, being able to identify the root cause, not the symptoms, is halfway through the healing journey,
2.       Exploring our unmet needs since we were babies – might be through opening up our hearts to our mom/dad if they are still alive,
3.       Identifying our past traumas can be a shortcut,4.       Being aware that the ego is very loud in these scenarios: self-doubt, self-hatred, anxiety, narcissism, fear of others, harshness, impatience, lack of compassion, illusions.
These are powerful moments where you need to jump in to do the real work and reclaim your power back from Ego.

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